It makes me feel lost. I think about the time I spent playing FFXI, and I think about the time that I spent on my music.
I've lost both.
Where do I go from here? I start school in January. I'm up for a manager position at Crocs. But where does this lead me to? Will this lead me to somewhere I want to be? Somewhere I have to be?
Will I be happy in the long run? Does this even matter?
I've been playing Dragonica to fill in the hole in my heart. I don't miss the events of FFXI anymore. I miss the gameplay a little bit (afk exp ftw). What I miss the most are my friends.
I do have more time now to concentrate on life. But what of it? I'm still pretty much stuck in the same place I have always been. Hopefully school will push me through a little bit. I'm not sure it will.
I'm in need of a life-changing event. I need a new direction.
Happy Holidays everyone.
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When I read this, this hurts somewhere I can't locate. Part of me wishes I could be enough to fill that hole in your heart, but I know that you need friends too.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find what you're looking for in 2010, and don't forget i'm right beside you. :o)
Love you.
First off, yes I still read your blog lol.
ReplyDelete2nd, gratz on reaching the question everyone our age eventually reaches. I hope a new semester at school helps you some but from the point of view of someone who went through college I can say I'm right there with you. The problem is you have a fantasy of what being an adult is like then all of a sudden we're here and it's like "wait, when did this happen?"
It took months of drinking and thinking but what I eventually came up with is "fk it". That's really the best answer, if you're happy then to hell with everything else. Just because your life may not be the white picket fence with 2.5 kids doesn't mean it's wrong, if it works it works, who's to say one way is better than the other? If you're not happy with something in your life then by all means change it, but don't change it just to conform to some idea of what life should be like.
You've got a girl, family, friends, a job, and a house (hopefully it's not leaking anymore lol). From a "grass is always greener..." perspective you've got stuff going for you. So chin up man, and remember when in doubt, drinking always helps.
Keep on truckin. Everyone in FFXI misses you bunches but wishes you the best.
-Briganna